(March 2005) Happy birthday GLORIA STEINEM and FLANNERY O’CONNOR, two fine women I admire.
I also admire The Hell-Bound Femme who posted this reply to the WseekingW section of craigslist:
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2005-03-24, 7:45PM PST
To: the author of the post entitled "So what is fucking?"
First of all, I would like to thank you for coming into the W4W section of Craigslist and informing all of us of how wrong we are in life. Without people like you telling people like me that homosexuality is "dirty," I might never know the error of my ways. I blame my faults on the packaged meat and the Indigo Girls. The estrogen in the meat turned me gay, and the Indigo Girls made me think it was OK; they tood advantage of my lack of free will and sheep-like tendencies. Thank you so much for saving me from the sin of a womans kiss. Congratulations! Your mission is accomplished. Thanks to you, I now have a healthy and holy craving for a good, God abiding cock. In fact, if you are single, I would love to date you... but before I give you my phone number, I just have one question:
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Was that lovely little rant at the end of your post a fucking joke?
I pray that it was, and so should you, because the qualifications for being "dirty" aren't limited to homosexuality. In fact, if God really is as judgmental as you portray him to be, than you - being the hateful little troll that you are - will wind up in Hell too. Except, for you, it will be even worse, since you will be surrounded by all of us "dirty" queers.
Can women fuck other women? Is that what you want to know? The answer is yes. We can, and we do. We fuck. We make love. We kiss. We caress. In fact, minus the external genitalia that retracts when it's cold (you'll note that I am not feeling "left out" about that), we can do anything you can do. For the record, we also eat, drink, work, drive cars, wear shoes, sweat when it's hot, sleep when we're tired, and get pissed when we deal with stupid people. Is there anything else that you would like to question about our actions or abilities, or does that about cover it?
Oh, that's right, you also wanted to know HOW we fuck. Why don't you tell me? After all, you already seem to know so much about us (i.e. how we are dirty, a disgrace, etc...) Since you already have all the answers, I can probably just stop here.
Though, I should point out that there is something that we do differently than you - we use spell check. Disease is spelled with an "i," dip-shit.
People like you disgust me. Truthfully, I would rather be in Hell with all of the other dykes and fags than up in Heaven with people like you.
- The Hell-bound Femme
P.s. Here is a little lesson in grammar:
"I THINK ELLEN AND ALL OF YOU
FUKING WHORES...........ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - The "........" isn't necessary, and you are missing a "c" in the word "fucking."
"GOD HE WILL IGNORE YOU TO ALL OF YOU" - This is not a sentence.
"YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONCECUENCES OF YOU DESEASE" - This is not a sentence, either, and the word "consequences" is spelled with a "Q."
"GOD NEVER CREATE CRAZY HOMOSEXUALS" - If I ever have children, remind me not to send them to the same kindergarten you went to.
Don't worry, grammar and sentence structure are very difficult to learn, and I know that all this criticism must be getting to you. If it's any consolation, I thought that your choice of ending your closing sentence with the word "retard" was truly brilliant. Truly. Way to drive it all home, sport!
This reply is pretty fucking amusing, too:
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2005-03-24, 5:47PM PST
Yes. I am a hater. But I'm interested in being saved. Why don't ya on come over and speak to me about redemption while I pound ya with my strap-on...