Thursday, August 21, 2008


From the Archives (15 May 2007) The latest from the American (Narrowly Defined, Intent-on-Keeping-Up-Appearances) Family Association:
Special Offer On "It's Not Gay" DVD

From now through Tuesday, May 8, we are offering our video It's Not Gay for only $10, and that includes shipping.

It's Not Gay has already been shown in an estimated 10,000 churches. It's Not Gay tells the other side of the homosexual movement, a side which the mainstream media and professional associations never mention.

It's Not Gay presents a story that few have heard, allowing former homosexuals* the opportunity to tell their own story in their own words. Along with medical and mental health experts, these individuals express a clear warning that the prevalent view of homosexuality being presented to America is not the whole story.

With a running time of 28 minutes, it is excellent for a Sunday School class, Bible study group or other situations.

To order your copy of It's Not Gay, click here.

P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!
Um, I guess I state the obvious when I point out that this homosexual story no one has heard before (told in queers' own words!) is limited to a very specific subset of queers who buy into the lie that their inherent homosexuality is wrong and so try to suppress their insuppressible attractions.

So. I thought maybe I'd offer the good Christians an exchange. They give me It's Not Gay to distribute to my friends and I give them It's Not Christian for them to distribute to their friends.

My DVD begins with footage of Jerry Falwell arriving at a rural courthouse with busloads of his faithful in tow. They are there to protest the fact that a minister has been charged with child abuse and murder for throwing his toddlers onto a heating grate in an effort to "send them back to hell"—an act that left one dead and the other with third-degree burns over a large portion of her body.

(A true tale.)

Let's listen as Jerry informs the camera that God has ordained men as heads of their families and made women and children their property.

Watch Jerry explain that this "man of God" should thus be allowed to punish his children any way he chooses without legal intervention because, in his world, this country based on equality and separation of church and state should and must follow the laws of his faith.

Now let's segue to Fred Phelps, the bigoted, angry minister who tauted Matthew Shepard's parents at their child's funeral.

Listen as Fred informs the grieving parents that "Matthew is in Hell where he belongs"—because it's Christian to torture the grieving and broken-hearted, particularly when their young son was discovered severely beaten and left to die on a cold Wyoming fence.

Next a white Christian explains how Genesis proves that "nigras" are not human beings, but are, instead, "mud people"—I kid you not—which means, conveniently, that human rights laws don't apply to them.

Then there's the Southern woman explaining that Jesus wants her to "submit graciously" to her husband or anyone with a dick in her general vicinity who wants to tell her what to do with her one wild and precious life.

You know, Landover Baptist sells "What Would Jesus Do?" thongs on their website, so I'm thinking that maybe my DVD can end with a sexy shot of this thong, then pan out to the story "Pope Appears in Credit Card Ad to Pay Off Class Action Molestation Suit Brought by 23% of New Jersey."

A voice from on high can then boom "Ask a molested child about straight male Christians, y'all."


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