97. WILD IDEA

From the Archives

(May 2005) I had this wild dream last night, probably because I reread my entry BIG ENGINE, LITTLE RADIATOR and so was thinking about the theory of evolution and subspecies that survive and subspecies that become extinct and those idiots in Kansas with their insistence on so-called intelligent design and that little mustard plant that fixed its own defective gene etc. etc. etc. instead of falling asleep.

Anyway, in my dream I was a scientist sitting at a wrought-iron table outside a little café—the sort of place Ernest Hemingway describes in “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place”—smoking a cigarette and drinking a java and doodling on a newspaper while pondering the world.

And I said to myself, Self, we classify groups in a long historical glance but what if humans are really divided into two or more groups? If, like Cain and Abel, we are subspecies competing for the same land, the same products, our own laws.

Maybe mutations in our genes, these massive evolutionary changes that differentiate us, account for our superstitions, our insistence on religion, the differences between the reptilian brains of, say, a Kansas City flat-earther and an wiccan dude working in the creative force in Seattle.

My dream question was a radical one: Is there only one form of human walking around or could we be a collection of subspecies competing for survival in a common environment?

Odd dream. Had to write it down as soon as I woke up because I knew THAT wouldn’t stay with me for long!

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In other news, today I overheard a woman describe herself as having “free-hanging labia.” What a description! She also said, while describing a career change, “I feel like I’ve got my fanny hanging out there and everyone’s looking at my butt crack.”

The woman's got a way with descriptions.

LISTENING TO: That sexy Lucinda Williams song about masturbating: I take off my watch and my earrings, my bracelets and everything. Lie on my back and I moan at the ceiling Ohhhh my baby...